POLYVAGAL THERAPY AND STRESS TYPES

Identifying your stress type(s) provides you with awareness that can help you learn to mindfully respond to stress and triggers rather that maladaptively react.

POLYVAGAL THERAPY
NERVOUS SYSTEM SCIENCE

Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn

Polyvagal Therapy (PT) is a groundbreaking modality that provides a neuropsychological understanding and action-oriented approach to emotional regulation, chronic stress resolution, complex-trauma recovery, social connection, self-worth and confidence building.

PT combines with IFS Self-Leadership Therapy (Parts Work) to resolve our most maladaptive ways of reacting to stress, triggers, inner critical beliefs, relational and social distress.

MALADAPTIVE PROTECTION STRATEGIES/STRESS REACTIONS

Stress Reaction Types, the 4F's (fight, flight, freeze and fawn) are primal defense mechanisms that help us survive. If we encounter a threat, like a snake, we are triggered within 100 milliseconds with the instinctive urge to 'flight' (run).

TODAY'S STRESS AND OUR SENSE OF SELF-WORTH
Nowadays, our threats are more about our own sense of confidence, worthiness, imposter syndrome, relationship distress, and feeling a sense of belonging and value with our friends, loved ones, and more importantly, a sense of purpose and worthiness (self-worth) overall. Variances in childhood experiences, birth order, our unique personalities and Adverse Experiences impact the way we develop the 4F's.

ADVERSE EXPERIENCES

The more stress or 'adverse experiences' we go through in childhood and adulthood (such as failures, heartbreak, abuse, sickness, loss, confusion, bullying and other forms of complex trauma, childhood emotional neglect, depression and diagnosis like AD(H)D) the more we had to 'adapt.'
Nowadays adverse experiences are more related to imposter syndrome, feeling 'not good enough' or like an outsider because we no longer live in villages or small communities where we feel known and valued.
Instead, our value can feel 'watered down' with millions of others.

OVER-RELIANCE ON ADAPTATIONS

We learn a lot from adapting to adverse experiences, yet it can result in over-reliance on one or more of the 4F's (as automatic reactions).
In our daily lives and relationships, we can get triggered (nervous system activation) and end up subconsciously over-reacting with over-developed and maladaptive stress-reaction types.

"Identifying your stress-response type combined with the ability to be mindful of your thoughts, triggers, emotions and behaviors, is imperative for emotional and relational health."
Maureen Killoran

MALADAPTIVE STRESS REACTIONS
MALADAPTIVE 'GETTING' AND 'PROTECTING' BEHAVIORS

The first step is to gain awareness of your default Stress-Reaction Type(s) and the ways you automatically react to stress, painful emotions, triggers and relationship distress.

MALADAPTING TO STRESS, TRIGGERS AND SENSE OF SELF-WORTH

Without awareness, we tend to react to or attempt to numb stressful feelings (especially feeling shame)
Results in a slew of multi-layered, counterproductive, even polarizing, maladaptive protective behaviors...
... such as people-pleasing, self-sabotaging, avoiding responsibilities, alcohol and food binging, obsessing and controlling, that result in shame and more stress.

OVERVIEW OF TYPES

Fight types tend to take quick 'action at', that can lead to conflict
Flight types attempt to 'escape' stress or emotions by over-thinking, obsessing, comparing, perfecting
Freeze types tend to 'hide' or shut-down
Fawn types tend to react with people-pleasing, placating, taking over-responsibility ('rescuing'), over-doing, or over-forgiving (without putting into place safety measures and protective boundaries)

“A current event can have only the vaguest resemblance to a past traumatic situation and this can be enough to trigger the psyche’s hard-wiring for a fight, flight, or freeze response."
Pete Walker, MA

ADAPTIVE STRESS RESPONSES
MINDFULNESS AND CHOOSING BEHAVIORS

With awareness, you can mindfully begin to choose Healthy Responses from all of the 4 F's, instead of mindlessly reacting. Take time to observe and process your triggers, thoughts and emotions instead of automatically reacting.

LEARN TO CHOOSE (EMPOWERED) YOUR VALUE-ALIGNED, ADAPTIVE RESPONSES FROM ALL TYPES

Situations we need to leave (Flight)
Conquering difficult tasks (Fight)
Places like the workplace, we can healthily people-please (Fawn)
At times we need to daydream, disengage or isolate for healing (Freeze)
Strengthen adaptive capacity for all four types and especially the opposite of your default type
For example, if my default reaction tends to be Fawn, I will want to focus on building up more Adaptive Fight and vice versa. Same with Flight and Freeze.

"Your experience of pain changes relative to how you react to it. When you move toward it in an adaptive way, pain shrinks. When you move away from it, pain grows. If you flee from it, pain pursues you like a monster in a dream."
Tony Fahkry

NERVOUS SYSTEM AND STRESS RESPONSE

MALADAPTIVE REACTIONS DO NOT FEEL GOOD

It doesn't “feel good” to be in fight-flight-fawn-or-freeze. The hyper-arousal of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) has an anxious or painful physiological, hormonal, and neurochemical impact.

CHRONIC NERVOUS SYSTEM ACTIVATION

Stuck in the 4F's reactive patterns can result in chronic activation (chronic stress) of the 'fight-or-flight-, sympathetic nervous system (SNS).
The SNS functions like a gas pedal - accelerating fight-or-flight, fueling for action
However, too much, results in anxiety, reactivity, rage, irritability, and outbursts.
Stress hormones impair health drastically, causing inflammation, compromised immune function, and more.

DEPRESSION (FREEZE MODE)

We may subconsciously default to an exaggerated parasympathetic response (PSNS), FREEZE mode, when we feel powerless (real or perceived)
Feels like we can't 'fight' back at, 'flight' away or 'fawn' out of emotions and stressors
We can feel especially powerless in relationship distress and inner-critic stress
The SNS activates stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol, while the PSNS attempts to depress (brake) and slow you down, promoting "rest and digest"
In FREEZE mode the SNS and PSNS are both on, like driving with the brake and gas pedal on at the same time!
Long term, this results in many of the symptoms described as depression, attention-deficit (ADD), insomnia, chronic fatigue, chronic inflammation, IBS, slow metabolism and weight gain, and serious medical conditions

Long-term activation of the stress-response system and the overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones that follows can disrupt almost all your body's processes - increasing risk of many health problems.

INTERNAL STRESS (INNER CRITIC) REACTIONS
MALADAPTING TO STRESS AND TRIGGERS

Most of our stress nowadays stems from relational distress, whether with our loved ones, at work or with our own sense of belonging, purpose, value and worthiness as a human. This can result in untamed Inner Criticism.

INNER AWARENESS IS KEY

With Wise Mind (awareness and guidance) you gain the tools to have compassion, understanding, and bring balance to Inner Critical thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
Without Wise Mind (awareness and guidance) of our Inner Critic, it can trigger anxiety, shame attacks and maladaptive reactions (fight-flight-freeze-fawn)
Learn more about Inner Critic Work.

"Take responsibility for your life — owning your problems liberates you from having to blame others for your pain. The problem is never ‘out there’ and once you appreciate this by connecting with your pain, power is gained knowing you create your life."
Tony Fahkry

WISE MIND (AWARENESS AND GUIDANCE)

"Promote the ability to feel through painful emotions without launching into inner critic drasticizing and 4F acting out. R.D. Laing once stated, 'The only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid unavoidable pain'."
Pete Walker, MA

MORE ABOUT STRESS TYPES
EMPOWERING AWARENESS AND TIPS

All types benefit from the following action-oriented practices and skills-building. There are specific ways each type benefits however, as you will learn below.

Daily exercise / body movement
Incorporate Healthy Stress Responses from each of the four types
Interpersonal skills, including Boundaries and Communication Skills
Inner Critic Work and Self-Compassion methods
Emotional health skills to process instead of reacting with fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn

LEARN MORE ABOUT EACH TYPE BY CLICKING BELOW

WORKSHEETS
Fillable pdf's to save to your pc and type within

FIGHT TYPE

Tend to perceive non-compliance as rejection and/or abandonment
Tries to 'fix' others with unsolicited criticism (power-struggles)
Angry outbursts and reactivity
May come off cold or prickly to prevent closeness, yet very sensitive
Critical of others (due to an enormous Inner Critic at play)
Silent treatment or contempt as punishment
Overly sensitive to feelings of powerlessness - reacts by automatically trying to get "power back" by controlling, ridiculing, or fighting
Shame-intolerant, struggles to own blame or responsibility (no one likes feeling shame, but Fight types are especially sensitive and defensive)
Subtle and/or blatant controlling behaviors

TIPS FOR FIGHT TYPES

Benefit most from high intensity workouts like boxing, running, lifting or impact sports like basketball, soccer, football.
Take self-initiated timeouts (at least 10 minutes away or quietness) at the first sign of feeling triggered or angered
Take 100% responsibility for your hurt feelings, shame, etc. instead of blaming and/or projecting it on others (Emotional Health Skills)
Take time to 'dig deep,' understand unmet needs, list exactly what you need in relationships, and clearly, calmly communicate your needs
Learn Healthy Stress-Responses, especially FAWN responses
Learn and practice Curious Listening so you may consider, ask questions, and be interested in loved-ones' feelings, needs, wants, limits, boundaries and rightful freedoms
Take time to empathize and take empowering responsibility (process through shame), apologize, and take corrective action to mend relationships - making the respect and love you crave, and need as a human, possible

"Fight types avoid real intimacy by unconsciously alienating others with their angry and controlling demands for the unmet childhood need of unconditional love."
Pete Walker, MA

FLIGHT TYPE

Subconscious attempts to flee painful emotions by launching into obsessive/compulsive activity or hyperactivity
Anxiety, panic disorders, fidgeting, OCD, ADHD
Staying perpetually busy, workaholism
Frequently compares self with others
Driven by belief that perfection will make you feel good and loveable
Self-berating and psychologically whipping (Inner Critic)
Tend to flip the most between the two poles of Inner and Outer Critic – and are typically the ones most caught up in ‘comparisons’ with others
Hyperactive continuum from driven "A" student to the ADHD dropout running amok without realistic goals
Prone to adrenaline-addiction - risky activities
Without awareness, susceptible to 'fleeing' stressful or painful feelings with substance-use and process addictions (gaming, binging, shopping, etc.)
Attempt to 'flee' relationship distress with distancing behaviors and in extreme cases this can result in betrayal and/or perpetual breakups

TIPS FOR FLIGHT TYPES

Benefit most from running or walking with intermittent sprints, swimming, rowing and activities with repetitive movement
Leverage your 'power-through' badass to balance out your Drive System with a stronger Soothing System with consistent, daily Action-Oriented Self-Care and evidence-based Mindful Self-Compassion practices
Daily Oxytocin Boosters
Understand toxic shame (loneliness / disconnection) and maladaptive attempts to flee it
Inner Critic Work to deconstruct self-berating and shame
Learn a 'gearbox' of modes, high-gear, slow-down, and idle
Grounding Exercises
Like all types, practice Emotional Health Skills
Incorporate Healthy Responses from ALL 4 Types
Mini-minute meditations, breath, count to 60
Self check-in moments, ask yourself "What is my most important priority right now?" "What hurt am I running from right now?" "What gear am I in?"

multi-purpose business woman with a large number of hands.jpg

"Flight types stay perpetually busy and
industrious to avoid potentially triggering inner criticism or external interactions."
Pete Walker, MA

FAWN TYPE

Tend to be the most self-critical of all four types
Uses compliance, niceness, people-pleasing in attempt to protect from others' disappointment or anger
Codependency and love addiction
Seek comfort by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others
Unaware of or forfeits own needs, values, and boundaries
Tendency to quickly forgive and trust those proven to be untrustworthy
Takes over-responsibility for other people while neglecting own needs
Over-giving results in resentment, especially self-resentment, and passive aggressive behaviors

TIPS FOR FAWN TYPES

Benefit most from all types of exercise, while adding an Intentional Self-Care focus while exercising, such as "I am exercising right now to care for myself."
Build a sense of "Self" with Boundaries
Process guilt and anger, instead of buckling into Fawn reactions
Did I mention how important Boundaries are? :)
Recognize and renounce the compulsion that draws you to narcissistic or controller types who exploit you
Build your Soothing System with Mindful Self-Compassion and daily self-care
Develop awareness of your needs and wants with Emotional Health Skills
Communicate your needs, wants, limits with Communication Skills
Inner Critic Work to understand shame-based beliefs that result in automatic and maladaptive compliant, people pleasing behaviors

"Fawn types [the classic 'codependent'] avoid potential disappointment by hiding behind helpful personas... or overdoing by giving service but never risking real self-exposure [genuine wants, needs and needed boundaries] and the possibility of deeper level rejection."
Pete Walker, MA

FREEZE TYPE

Both SNS and PSNS are activated - like driving with brake and accelerator on at the same time
May feel exhausted, trapped, helpless, depressed
Fogginess, emptiness, tired, feeling "stuck"
Beliefs that people will expect too much from you (causes resentment)
Seems your starter button is stuck on "off"
Tends to "power-under," explain and defend (see power-struggles)
Dissociation due to Childhood Emotional Neglect and/or Self-Neglect
Often presents as ADD symptoms
Seeks refuge in sleep, daydreaming, and right brain-dominant activities like TV, video games, scrolling (these behaviors are healthy when balanced)
Identified with substance-use disorders, drawn to marijuana and narcotics
Harsh Inner Critic making you feel worthless and pointless

TIPS FOR FREEZE TYPES

Benefit from any exercise, but may find yoga, stretching, hiking, mindful walking as ideal daily exercise practices
Most difficult of the four types to resolve so be patient with yourself
Requires understanding the trauma basis of your symptoms and possibly ensure trauma-informed therapy such as IFS and EMDR
Incorporate more Healthy Responses from all types, especially important to strategize ways of leaving (flight) any toxic environments you are feeling 'stuck' in, ie., bad roommate, berating boss, or abusive relationship.
Since you have a phobia of your own painful emotions, it's ideal to develop three skills at the same time: Emotional Health Skills, Inner Critic Work and Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC)
Continue to gain an understanding of complex--PTSD, the nervous system, freeze-mod and how it relates to depression (see videos below)

"This type can be so frozen in retreat mode
that it seems their starter button is stuck in the 'off' position.
Pete Walker, MA

STRESS TYPE VIDEOS

4 F'S RELATED TO COMPLEX-PTSD

PSYCHOEDUCATION HOME PAGE

My Approach

POLYVAGAL THERAPY AND STRESS TYPES

POLYVAGAL THERAPY NERVOUS SYSTEM SCIENCE

"Identifying your stress-response type combined with the ability to be mindful of your thoughts, triggers, emotions and behaviors, is imperative for emotional and relational health." Maureen Killoran

MALADAPTIVE STRESS REACTIONS MALADAPTIVE 'GETTING' AND 'PROTECTING' BEHAVIORS

​“A current event can have only the vaguest resemblance to a past traumatic situation and this can be enough to trigger the psyche’s hard-wiring for a fight, flight, or freeze response." Pete Walker, MA

ADAPTIVE STRESS RESPONSES MINDFULNESS AND CHOOSING BEHAVIORS

"Your experience of pain changes relative to how you react to it. When you move toward it in an adaptive way, pain shrinks. When you move away from it, pain grows. If you flee from it, pain pursues you like a monster in a dream." Tony Fahkry

NERVOUS SYSTEM AND STRESS RESPONSE

Long-term activation of the stress-response system and the overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones that follows can disrupt almost all your body's processes - increasing risk of many health problems.

INTERNAL STRESS (INNER CRITIC) REACTIONS MALADAPTING TO STRESS AND TRIGGERS

"Take responsibility for your life — owning your problems liberates you from having to blame others for your pain. The problem is never ‘out there’ and once you appreciate this by connecting with your pain, power is gained knowing you create your life." Tony Fahkry

WISE MIND (AWARENESS AND GUIDANCE)

"Promote the ability to feel through painful emotions without launching into inner critic drasticizing and 4F acting out. R.D. Laing once stated, 'The only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid unavoidable pain'." Pete Walker, MA

MORE ABOUT STRESS TYPES EMPOWERING AWARENESS AND TIPS